Let’s face it – this is the time of year that many of us will make resolutions. Also, know as bargains or contracts.
I’ve done it and I’m sure so have you. We review the past year with a critical eye and decide that now is the time to start over again.
But I would imagine, for many of us, we are again making the same assessment that we did a year or more ago.
Some of us will want to change weight or smoking or drinking or anger or fear OR…..whatever you’re focused on right now. Maybe it’s wanting to grow a business – but that was last years goal too.
So why do some changes stick while we keep having to revisit others.
I might surprise you by my answer.
No I’m not going to say that you didn’t try hard enough or that you didn’t mean it. While these might be true for some – they don’t address the issues that many of us including me have had.
I believe it comes down to wanting too hard – So hard – that you’ve actually created a place of resistance and you don’t even know it.
So let’s go with Resistance for a moment.
What happens when we pull so hard toward something.
Well we actually, start to turn away from it. We stop wanting to look at it because we’ve not made any progress or not enough consistent progress and it seems too high of a hurdle to overcome.
For example:
Imagine, a jump rope. You’re on one side and your desire is on the other side of the rope. The ends of the rope are close enough together that the rope is slack. Well it’s exactly that relaxed, slack effect that makes it easy enough to step or jump over the rope to the other side. The side where our goal is.
Now imagine that you’ve made resolutions, set goals that were maybe more than you really (consciously or subconsciously)believed you could achieve. Each resolution or extreme goal pulls at opposing ends of the rope.
So now the rope is getting taught. For some period of time, it’s still pretty easy to step or jump over the rope. But at some point the rope will become so tight, you’ll have to be a high jumper to clear it.
When that happens – no matter what kind of training you do, sabotage is projected to occur (unless you’re a natural high jumper). You’ll find reasons, life interferences and tomorrow is a new day – all to comfort you because you can’t understand how you didn’t achieve your goal.
Let’s try something new this time.
STEPS TO CHANGING HABITS & PATTERNS
I’m sharing with you a brand new process. So post questions, feedback, observations anything and everything from your journey here on this blog.
I will do the same and we can be in this one together.
Ask this Expanded Self Awareness question of yourself:
Am I willing to be willing to see my __________(fill in the blank with your desire) from a new perspective – one that I may never have thought of before or one that I thought I had tried but may not have been fully prepared to try?
This question is intended to expand your self awareness.
Then for 3 days – you are not required to do anything – except watch and become more aware.
On the morning of the 4th day – ask the question again.
Am I willing to be willing to see my __________(fill in the blank with your desire) from a new perspective – one that I may never have thought of before or one that I thought I had tried but may not have been fully prepared to try?
Again use your level of awareness to gauge what changes may be taking hold.
Again after the next 3 days (or on the 8th day) – Ask the question again:
Am I willing to be willing to see my __________(fill in the blank with your desire) from a new perspective – one that I may never have thought of before or one that I thought I had tried but may not have been fully prepared to try?
This time, immediately after this question is asked spend 2 min or more with the following statement:
I am grateful that during this experiment I have noticed/become aware that I ___________________________.
List as many things as you can about yourself, your reactions, changes that you might deem as good/bad. How you’ve felt, what you’ve thought, how you view others around you during this time and how they support or sabotage you.
**Remember – this is all coming from a place of gratitude – even if some of what you notice might not feel great – BE Grateful that you’re more aware!
Once you have this gratitude/awareness list.
Then set out a plan that supports 1 – Only 1 thing that you will commit to for today.
At the end of the day – you should have a success –
I hope you’ll ask questions – report back – provide support for yourself and others through comments.
Once you have that 1 thing that you’ve accomplished for 1 day.
Double your commitment – and do it twice.
Day one and Day two – Two in a row!
I bet you think I’m going to have you do it -3 days in a row.
THAT’S RIGHT!!!!
BUT guess what- Not on day 4. Sure you can continue the change if you want. But on day 4 – Repeat the Expanded Self Awareness statement.
Am I willing to be willing to see my __________(fill in the blank with your desire) from a new perspective – one that I may never have thought of before or one that I thought I had tried but may not have been fully prepared to try?
And…. (yes there are two things to do on this day) After you’ve read the statement, try something different that will support you in making a positive change that will bring you closer to your goal rather than farther away from your goal.
So that you don’t get tired or discouraged with the new change you implemented. Stop that change and try something new.
For example – if you walked for 3 days – now try yoga, or something else interesting. If you tried smoking one less cigarette or eating less sugar, then continue that if you can & try adding a walk or a piece of fresh fruit.
The possibilities are endless, you won’t get bored & let’s see how we all do with using a new process.
The process continues with you repeating the Expanded Self Awareness Statement and changing up and/or adding to what you’ve already done.
This will give you a list of things that work and are easy for you to do, and another list of things that may not be in your ‘preferred bag’ of tools to choose from.
I’m going to do this too.
I will reveal my goal on day 4.
I will add new processes if needed based on feedback and sharing.
In love and light
Janet-Lee Halish